Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Coming back to life after chemo

It's been a long, sometimes ugly road of cancer treatment over these past eight months, but I feel that life is finally moving beyond treatment and more and more back into the realm of normalcy... which is what, really??

Well, for me, part of my 'normal' world is reading to my boys at night before bed. I LOVE to do this!! I've always LOVED to do this. It has always been our routine to cuddle up with great books, whether picture books when they are very small or chapter books as they get older. They snuggle into their beds and get very quiet and it has always been the most peaceful time of the day for us. And I get a captive audience! I also get to send them off to sleep while fun and whimsical characters dance through their heads. We all reap the joy of togetherness as we explore different countries and times through stories they'll remember forever. I am so deeply grateful to have the energy once again to have bedtime stories!

Normal is being able to fix a complete meal, serve it AND be able to clean up afterwards! That takes soooo much energy! I never even realized how much work one meal can seem when you are wiped out, but I hope to appreciate how much energy God supplies us with from now on, because it really is awesome.

Normal is choosing to have a lazy day off with the boys and relax in the sun! Imagine the panic that sets in after not actively doing homeschool lessons every day for almost an entire school year! Yikes! I knew the boys were fine & progressing even without my involvement daily, but it wasn't what I had planned for them! (And I have such terrific plans, don't you know???) That made for a mom becoming very stressed about getting good habits back in place and feeling confident that the boys would once again listen to mom- not just as mom, but also as their instructor. I feel the worries melting away and God is replacing it with a glorious peace. No more panic, lots less stress! More play time in the sun!

I'm not completely myself yet- but I am getting there! (And it feels good!) I'm also not (completely) done with treatment, since I have to take a drug for the next 5 years and have checkups every 3 months, oh, and another surgery this summer... but with what I have finished and gone through already- the road ahead seems straight and ***hopefully*** rutless!!!! I'm just going to enjoy being normal for now....